Performance anxiety

Buco · October 19

Created this because I was going to reply in Paul's @paulmcevoy75 thread but don't want to derail the thread...

Performance anxiety. It's not a stage fright. At least I don't see it that way. Because I know what stage fright feels like, I went through that when I started playing gigs as a teenager in rock bands. That can be debilitating. What I'm talking about as a performance anxiety is a lot more subtle. To the point that for a long time I wasn't even aware that I was dealing with it. And I can notice it on other people as well and they don't see it as such either or don't think that's what it is. It's exactly as Paul described it, fingers feel like noodles and head space feels weird. It's also it when you think or say "how come I can play this no problem at home but not so during the performance?".

To start with, even changing the environment can derail the performance. From familiar practice space where you're not paying attention to your surroundings, you go to a gig where everything is new. I have a tendency to look all over and notice things and details in a new environment (what I believe is undiagnosed adhd) and you can guess what that does to my playing if I'm not conscious about it and making sure I stay with my task and ignore the rest.

Most people here know that I follow Noa Kageyama and he mostly focuses on this issue exactly, the performance phycology. And he's interviewed top pros about it and nobody is completely imune to it every time they perform. I picked up a lot of stuff below from him but others as well.

Here, I'll share a list of things I put together to remind myself before the gig and I also look at it occasionally before I practice at home.

Reset chord: something that you like hearing between the songs to get you grounded and back to square one. Something that will reconnect you with your instrument. For me it's the fat C9.

Belly breathing: or other breathing techniques, like square breathing etc. But during the gig, simply being aware to breathe all the way down to my belly, deep and slow, is the easiest.

Squeeze/release: like a small squishy ball or similar, slowly squeeze and release. Noa shared this tip that was shown beneficial in studies.

Serve the music, not the ego: if we're really honest about it, most of this stuff happens because we get concerned about what will others think of us. It's about the music, we're just a conduit. Serve the music.

If I play "wrong", do it with confidence: meaning don't let the groove get derailed. Groove is much more important than the notes.

Mistakes are awesome: basically so what? And who gives a f***? I believe it's from this place that Miles Davis was coming from when he said there are no wrong notes. Coming into the performance with this attitude can go a long way to keep you in the right head space.

Straighten up and be big: it came from a classical musician who was super nervous prior the important performance. His young child was in the audience and told him afterwards: dad, you looked so small when you walked out on stage (lol). So the guy said: now every time I'm nervous I make sure I straighten up and be big.

Focus on the sound you want to hear, not the technique: instead of thinking how are you going to play something, think about what it sounds like. In general focusing on anything other than the exact task you're about to perform will be beneficial. A champion golfer focuses on his toe when putting. Racer skiers always look several gates ahead instead of the one they need to navigate the next.

Play basic: if I feel during the gig that I'm not in the right head space, I try to remind myself to go back to very basic, 1/4 notes, lots of space, very basic playing. Stephane Wrembel said this as something to do when you feel you're running out of ideas to play. I applied it slightly differently.

State your goal prior to the gig: tell yourself what exactly you'll do there and be specific. It came from a story I heard about samurai and philosopher who lived to be old and died a natural death and successfully defeated many opponents.

Positive self-talk: Noa shared a tip where the study showed benefits of nodding in agreement when giving yourself a positive self-talk.

Feel the music in half tempo: during the up tempo songs, ignore the 1/4 note groove, hear is as half note or even a whole note. This creates a sense of space mentally vs everything happening at a speeding train momentum.

Relax the scrotum: it sounds funny but it's very beneficial (just make sure you did your#1 and #2 before), it will automatically cause many other muscles to relax, majority of body really.

Practice under pressure: visualize the performance situation and space. Record often, just knowing that red button is active will increase the pressure. All that in turn will build immunity to performance situations. Conversely, visualize your practice space when performing.

Reward/consequence: I don't do much of this except if I'm playing something I should be familiar with, if I make a mistake I'll go back to the beginning instead of just fixing the mistake and moving on. Then I'll make sure I can play the whole thing. If I'm working on a chord melody or something more complex and challenging for me, I'll make sure that I can play it 4 times in a row without making a mistake. If I make it all the way I'll say out loud something like: heck yeah, that's awesome! A pat on the shoulder of some sort.

Pretend if it's the easiest thing in the world: Eduardo Costa, one of the best classical guitarists I have ever seen. And he makes everything look effortless and easy. His tip is that well, when you practice at home you pretend it's the easiest thing ever.

There is a similar concept in Effortless Mastery: play a single note. Notice how easy it was. Everything else that you ever play can be as easy as that single note.

Label the feeling to then distance yourself from it: instead of thinking I am nervous, think I feel nervous. That way you recognize it but you don't give in to it. It's a part of you at that moment but it's not the whole you. Then it's easier to remove it aside.

Find a smile in the room: just seeing that one smile will tell you that you're doing something right.

djazzy · October 19

This topic is kinda THE issue for me -- one I ALWAYS come back to: flubbing notes, forgetting progressions & melodies, just being tight, hands like ice, etc when I'm playing with people but somehow I'll play fine on my couch a day earlier. Its so frustrating. I can't say I've made much progress with the issue either.

One idea that has helped me somewhat??? is to generally begin the night/jam/performance slowly and easily in a very technical sense, which is not easy for me since my energy/nerves are usually just screaming right out of the gate against my better senses. Which is to say, I try to remember to keep things simple, keep them as doable as possible, and then go from there. It helps my spirits too.

A second (more technical) realization I've had is that it is way easier for me to channel energy/nerves in musically productive ways by either just accompanying with la pompe OR by just taking leads. So one or the other. As I see it, these two different roles require different ways of moving the wrist & arm, and making the transition for me has been a mountain to climb. I also kinda understand why there would be distinct roles in this style for guitarists in ensembles: accompanists in the trenches & star virtuoso in the spotlight (even though I prefer the idea of letting different voices speak up musically & letting the Django/Joseph change up.)

Case in point: the other night at a large jam I sat out completely for 3, maybe 4, tunes in a row...just sat int he chair, tired, utterly spent, spacing out, bored, thinking I was done for the night, ready to put the guitar in its case. But as Manha de Carnaval started up... and when it got to the right moment I just could not resist, and launched into maybe the best playing I've done in a while. No tightness, no flubbing notes, just having fun. And genuinely not giving a flying fuck whatsoever -- just letting go -- which is not my mode of being. So I definitely think I need to give a lot less of a fuck when playing. An attitude adjustment? Not a new thought. But it ain't easy. I was probably too tired & indifferent inthat moment to hold onto much tension so I was real relaxed. But nights sure dont start that way -- so not much of a solution there. Another problem is that I just don't think I can reasonably count on being a self-appointed soloist on tunes I happen to really like while I just sit out/phone in the rest.

Buco · October 19

@djazzy well there you go, all we need is to not give a f*** Somebody on Beato, I think it might've been Mike Stern, said something about performance anxiety along the lines "audience? Well f*** them". This whole mental thing has been tougher nut to crack than any lick I've ever attempted. But lately I feel I'm making a headway. You know, one thing that almost immediately made a difference was when I realized that if I want the picking hand to relax, it's gotta start with the fretting hand. Loose and soft with the left hand, just enough pressure to make a note. And maybe this change helped that too, but I'm able to pay a lot more attention to dynamics while playing. What @pdg mentioned in other thread, that most people play too hard live is definitely true. Playing softer will help with the overall feeling of being more relaxed.

All this stuff from above works but it's a very long process. You have to be making daily reminders, it has to become a part of your daily routine. And change will eventually happen. I'm a lot more often in a position where I feel a sense of space vs feeling like I'm in a beehive.

JasonS · October 20

Playing too hard can often be a consequence of rhythm players (including oneself) playing too loudly at a jam.
Playing in a jam often requires us to play rhythm for a considerable amount of time before soloing. That's very different than sitting down at home and immediately starting to work on playing melodies or soloing.
Many people, and I've been guilty of this, don't spend any time practicing playing rhythm once they reach the point of being able to comfortably keep up a basic la pompe. It can be incredibly humbling trying to play rhythm along with Hot Club recordings!

All that to say playing good rhythm guitar with an awareness of what the other players are doing, especially the bassist, really lays the groundwork for making people comfortable at a jam and allows players to play their best.

paulmcevoy75 · October 20

I think what I'm talking about isn't EXACTLY performance anxiety. Might be performance anxieties cousin and I'm not saying I don't have performance anxiety, but in the case of this gig it was pre-performance anxiety (I was basically a wreck for 3 months planning this, and it was medium ambitious).

I would call it performance desembodification or something. Sensations seem off. Everything sounds and feels weird. I think it's very much from not performing much and always in non-ideal circumstances and in spaces that don't always feel comfortable. Going to jazz jam sessions to me is a mixed blessing, you play 3 or so tunes with an unrehearsed band, you don't get to warm up, there is an element of competition and it is not necessarily setting you up for success. That's most of what I've been doing for quite a while and not even a lot of that.

Booking this gig even though it made me kinda insane was good in that I picked the people I played with, rehearsed a bit and knew the material pretty well. Having a repertoire of tunes to work on was hugely different than playing whatever someone calls at a jam session.

voutoreenie · October 20

Not sure if it completely fits the thread theme but a few generalities on how to better cope with gigging in this style:

The audience doesn't notice

Just as no one IRL really notices what we look like or are doing at any given moment, the audience isn't noticing and/or caring about your flub note. Well, unless all your noticeably forlorn head-shaking and continued distraught expressions over having committed such a horrific, repugnant act forces them to notice (and if that's really what you do after making a mistake, get tf over yourself already lmao). Regardless, always embrace the opportunity of playing one bad note as a perfect lead into playing the one.

The audience doesn't care

Ok, even if some chucklefuck did seem to notice you hit a flub note...well, trust me when I say this, they don't care. Like THEY REALLY FOR REAL DON'T CARE. At all. Well, except for maybe unless you decide to make them care again by bringing it up and apologizing after the fact...even then, they still don't care and now you're being a weirdo so stop bothering them. And if it's your snarky musician friend who's giving you grief, perhaps some sarcastic asshat "friend" in name only like me?? Perfect time to remind them they weren't invited anyway so either next round's on them or gtf out ;)

You're playing for the audience

Never lose sight of the fact that you're not there to win an internalized chops competition or impress your musician friends, you're there to play fun songs and tunes for the audience so they can forget about their day and have a good time. Vast majority won't know the songs you're playing, nor will they ever care to know...because again, they're just there to have fun, hear some good music and be distracted from life for a minute. And sure, you could certainly take the opportunity in between songs to self-aggrandize...err, educate the audience about previous songs but if you're gonna be songsplaining like that, keep in mind no one's there because they wanted a history lesson so at least make it quick and funny (e.g. referencing Satchmo's lifelong fondness for Swiss Kriss laxatives, which is always sure to ease, relax and smooth out any audience tension).

Amps suck

Well, actually they're quite a bit of fun...but still, they do suck in that playing GJ through amps is almost a completely different game in comparison to jamming acoustically as we all do 90% of the time otherwise and your technique can suffer greatly by trying to compensate for all the tone/projection differences that can stem from being amplified. Never "try to play quiet" when using an amp; if too loud, that means you should turn down the gain, not change your technique. Sound too bright or too dark? Exactly the same, do not change your technique to compensate. Changing technique because of being amplified is both the most subtle and the quickest way to fail at a gig. It's also one of the most important lessons I had to learn on my own, early on in the style after initially suffering from huge, post-gig technique setbacks (my right hand knuckles have many a blister war story...so glad I got that all figured out).

Quick hits:

Bring antiseptic alcohol wipes for your hands if they get sweaty
Bring a hand towel to wipe down the neck if it gets tacky/gummy
Bring your own foldout chair to have as "trusted" backup whenever possible
Bring extra cash and not just to stock the tip jar but also to tip the staff if they're hooking it up

Probably more I'm not thinking of but all of those little things can actually be big things in terms of the additional mental security they can also provide going into a gig - even if still nervous going in, will always be less anxiety overall when you know you're showing up fully prepared.

paulmcevoy75 · October 20

that's all good shit. I used to listen to some Chris Shiflet (?) podcast about guitar, it was good, he used to talk about how the audience is always on your side (well I think they are until it becomes a total fiasco anyway, when they might be out for blood).

I got some very nice comments from musicians in the crowd which I immediately dismissed because clearly they were trying to help me forget how horrible it was (KIDDING, mostly).

But yeah I was mostly comfortable playing, soloing felt really weird but also I think I've gotten to have some degree of chill at home when I start soloing, taking a breath, taking a break before I start playing and it's not really as much of a reflex as I'd like it to be when outside of my kitchen. There's a rush to play something and that sets up a chain reaction of stupid. But yeah no one is listening that closely but people were dancing and people seemed to have a nice time.

I am happy to have put a book of tunes together as well. I really like the rep I picked out, both the GJ stuff and the jazzy jazz stuff. They are almost all tunes I really dig and I feel good about this being my repertoire for a while. I didn't know a lot of them nearly as well as I'd like to but I'm happy working on all of them further.

Putting that 50 tunes thing together was sort of like...what are the vegetables (tunes that would help push me to be more versatile) to go with the meat (stuff that I really want to play) even though in both groups there are tunes that do both.

(if you're interested):

Django

Honeysuckle Rose (F) 150

Lulu Swing (D)

Sheik Of Araby (Bb) 200

Made in France (E)

Embraceable You (F)

I’ll See You In My Dreams (F)

Blue Drag (D-)

Hungaria (Mike Head) G

Place De Broukere 250bpm Bb Blues

Jazz

The Theme 174

Have You Met Miss Jones 135

Fall

A Train 175

Body and Soul Eb 54bpm

Matrix

In a Sentimental Mood 54

Inner Urge

Duke Ellington’s Sound of Love67

Bye Ya

Isfahan

You Know You Know 66

The Theme

voutoreenie · October 20

Bye Ya

Monk tune, right? Man, that's one of my all time favorites! It works really well for GJ too, didn't think anyone else ever played it!! Haha

Hopefully we get a chance to jam sometime man, I know almost all the tunes from your list and many of them are personal faves!

paulmcevoy75 · October 20

Yeah man! I can't remember who you are or where you live? Chicago? Have we met?

I think there is a nice Django and Monk connection. I think Django is if not Monk's equal as a composer, pretty darn close. I like their modernism of bashing things up against each other. Rhythmically I think they have a lot in common.

The sax player recommended Bye Ya. For a second it was pretty hard to play, I rehearsed it with the bass and drums and it was just a train wreck. But I practiced it and it went off pretty well. Improvising on it is pretty odd, it's like opposites day harmony wise. Very fun though.

voutoreenie · October 20

Yeah man! I can't remember who you are or where you live? Chicago?

Nope, close enough tho - I'm in Milwaukee!

I think there is a nice Django and Monk connection. I think Django is if not Monk's equal as a composer, pretty darn close. I like their modernism of bashing things up against each other. Rhythmically I think they have a lot in common.

Absolutely, very well-stated!! Almost any of Monk's blues/more openly blues songs translate super well to GJ (Nutty is a lot of fun, Bemsha works better than one might think too) but so do some of the ballads like Ruby, My Dear and also some of the wilder tunes like Epistrophy and Well You Needn't. Monk's also soooo good to listen to help gain an understanding of where/when to apply whole tone scales/arps/licks; had Django lived longer, I really feel like he would of incorporated even more of them into his playing due to how well they connect into diminished and altered licks.